I was fortunate enough to stumble upon this witty and spot on article describing different hockey fans on the Gongshow Hockey blog (link) but I felt there were a couple of fans missing from the list. So without further ado, I present the 3 hockey parents that didn’t make it on the Gongshow list.
- Glass is Completely Full Always
No matter how you played, what the outcome of the game was or what was on the line they always tell you what a great game you played. Whether you got kicked out on a questionable call, took a lazy tripping penalty resulting in the game winner for the other team on the power play or straight up scored on your own net, they’re always there to say “great game”, “hey, good job” or “you played your best.”
- Next Year’s Coach
Actually just the next level of “The Coach” mentioned in the gongshow post, the parent can no longer just sit in the stands as the coach clearly misses line matchups, plays everyone evenly on the power play and completely misunderstand how the 2-1-2 works. No longer do they shout obvious coaching cliché’s from the crowd, but begin slowly introducing their own coaching philosophies to the kids on long bus trips and organizing parents into a quiet coupe before ultimately gaining their support to become next year’s coach for the team. Common characteristics include a lettered jacket with leather sleeves and being the parent of the worst player on the team.
- The Church Mouse
Every coach’s favorite parent is the church mouse. Usually a mother whose experiencing organized sports for the first time, the church mouse is always there but never says anything, positive or negative. They bake fresh banana bread for long road trips, always volunteer their time, and never say anything, ever. And for being perpetually prepared to be taken advantage of and taking it, every time, ceremoniously the church mouse is the only parent on the team to garner the most and least respect simultaneously.
Canadian Hockey Enterprises